Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Feb. 27

Hi- A pretty good day today. I had the day off which is always nice, and I felt like I got a lot of cleaning/organizing done. Sorted through some of the paper mess that builds up between school stuff, mail, receipts and all those paper things that like to take over my kitchen.

First week of weight watchers went well and I lost about 5 lbs. Yay. This week has been a little harder (started my period and just want to eat, would especially like some chocolate!!!!) But I'm still keeping track of things and staying within my points - I've used more flex points this week than last, but hopefully that's okay.

Andrew's play is Friday. They performed today for some of the elementary classes. Whitney said it was good. They are doing "Bugsy Malone, Jr." It'll be fun to see.

Whitney is doing sports club at school and just auditioned for the upcoming musical.

Jayna had her last PIP performance. And is down here now watching "Sesame Street"

Richard called to cancel our cable channels today- just a move to save some $. I don't think it will really get turned off until Saturday. I'm interested to see how the kids take it. I think Whitney will be the one who misses it most (Hannah Montana, Drake and Josh...)

Richard is going to Florida next week to visit his parents. I think it will be good for all of them.

That's what's going on here. And so it goes...

Sue

**What I'm reading **

"Never Let me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro- it definitely grabs your attention fast, but I'm not quite sure where it's going - I hope it's not too creepy!!

**Just finished**

"The Uncommon Reader" by Alan Bennett a short book that was kind of fun to read with a little twist and a bit thought provoking

Any recommendations out there??

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Feb. 19

Hi- We got our 1st fence estimate today - a little more than I expected. I think we are going to go with the vinyl. It really would like nice. We'll probably get at least one more estimate, then go from there. I'm actually a little bit excited about getting it done. You should see how it looks now - on one side there are 2 unpainted panels that don't match the rest, on the other side, where some of the panels fell down, Richard has a hodge podge of stuff up to keep the dog from escaping.

Day 2 of the kids winter break and Andrew is sick with the flu. Poor him. Whitney had it over the weekend and hopefully it doesn't spread any more than that!! Good that we didn't have any big plans for this break.

Jayna is playing at her friends house right now. (Matt)

Sunday I was released as the 2nd counselor in the Buffalo Ward Primary, then called as the 1st counselor in the Primary under a new president. For those who know these sisters: Sister Krystal King is president and Shara Desrosiers is 2nd counselor, no secretary yet. It should be good.

Saturday I took a huge step and joined weight watchers. It just hit me that I needed help. It seems that after Whitney was born (almost 11 years ago!) was when I started gaining and not really losing much. Over the past few months I had been gaining weight and didn't know why, then it hit me that with my new job I sit about 19 hours a week. I was never running a marathon before, but I think I was definitely moving more and that working has added to my weight (hmm, one more thing I don't love about my job!) In the past I had considered doing something, but didn't want to spend the money, and thought I should just be able to do it myself. Plus, I had seen my mom go on and off weight watchers, losing then gaining. Anyhow, I felt I needed help and signed up. It was pretty intimidating going to that first meeting, luckily there was an older woman there who talked with me and made it a little easier. I've chosen to do the "flex plan" which has you counting "points", this is day 4 and so far so good. One day at at a time. The thing that I really notice is how little food I really need, portion control- which is something I knew I would need help with. I hope that going to the meetings will help me stay motivated and focused, like each week it is a new beginning. Anyhow wish me courage, strength, determination and a high metabolism!!

Have a great day. And so it goes...

Sue

Friday, February 15, 2008

Feb. 15- A new day!

Hi feeling much better today, I believe a good cry can be therapy itself and I know that I have a pretty good life, just sometimes things build up. Thanks to those who left kind comments and e-mails.

The kids have a week off from school now for winter break. Woo hoo! Because, that also means that I have a week off from work. I have different feeling now about breaks and snow days, now that I work at a school, so instead of worrying about what I'm going to do to keep the kids busy, I'm just thankful for some down time for me and the kids. There are a couple of dentist appts. scheduled and a dr. appt. too. I don't have any plans to do anything major this break,hopefully on our Spring break we'll go to Philadelphia and visit with some friends (Janes') and do some of the fun things there. It's always good for me to have something to look forward to.

Richard and I went out to eat and to see "Bucket List", last night for Valentines Day. It is nice that Andrew could babysit for us.

Andrew's play is in about 2 weeks, I'm looking forward to seeing it. Whitney auditioned for the musical in the elementary this week, and Jayna has just one last PIP performance coming up.

And so it goes...Happy thoughts to everyone out there.

Sue

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Feb. 14- Stress!!!!

Things that are stressing me out:

1. The fence- part of it fell over during a recent wind storm, we had been planning on replacing it "someday", but I guess that is sooner than later. If we didn't have a stupid dog it wouldn't matter so much- the relationship between me and the dog is not getting better- and I get frustrated with the lack of others cleaning up after her outside and maintaining her training. It was a bad decision to get her, one that I'll be paying for for awhile I guess. Anyhow the fence- I would love to just pay someone to do it, but am not sure about the cost difference. Types- chain link would probably be most affordable (which unfortunately has to be a priority), but it is only so tall unless I want to feel like we are in a prison yard. And then that would stress me out because I am use to our tall wooden fence saving us many times from balls, frisbees, and birdies going over to the neighbors- the neighbors are fine, but I don't need the stress of our toys hitting their cars, windows..., wooden fence is what we have now, but rotting and falling apart, and more expensive, I would like something with little upkeep, vinyl would be nice, but probably too expensive for us.

2. Taxes- I just wish they were done so I would know if we could pay off Richard's car and get the fence taken care of, plus catching up a little would be nice. Richard does them and I am trying ( probably not too well) to not push him too much. He's also going to do his Dad's and Mom's which is stressful to me too.

3. Career search for Richard- going nowhere so far, discouraging to both of us.

4. My job- it is kind of a love hate relationship. I love the fact that is is close to our house (less than 2 miles) and I love that I am generally home when the kids are including breaks which is really important to me. But, besides that I hate it! It is incredibly boring and I don't have the opportunity to interact with anyone throughout the day, if I do have students, they are testing, so I don't really get to work with them. I don't have a regular schedule either.

4. What is next for me- I've been struggling to know what to do next career and job wise. I'm just planning that we will be here next year. I would like to return to school but not sure what is the best route. I could go about a year and get my associates in early childhood education which would allow me to teach preschool ( when I was looking for a job this past summer it seems like that is more a requirement than before, I use to teach 4-5 year old class without a degree, but it seems more required now) I do like working with children, and that would be ideal as far as having time off with the kids, however, I've been thinking I would really like to go into social work. I have a desire to help people who have lost hope. I want people to know that life is good and they can make it good. The community college here has about a 1 year program that gives you a certificate in human services, which I am considering, with the college I already have, it probably wouldn't take too many more classes to get an associates degree in social sciences. I could then work on a bachelors degree, but to be honest that sound of that sounds so overwhelming right now. So I need to know what exactly could I do with that certificate and my big concern being would there be part time jobs and what about child care during the summer, Jayna is still 6 and I feel it really important to be around for her and also the older kids. I know many people haven't had that choice, but I have and it remains important to me. So do I do what I think would be okay (childhood ed, or delve into human services hoping it works out)

5. Finances- it just seems that although I am working now and bringing home a little money, we aren't getting ahead.

6. Friends- I miss them, I'm so lousy at making good friends, but have been able to make
some, but now many of them have moved away.

7. How busy I am and how behind I feel- I still get discouraged about what doesn't get done. I didn't even get Richard a Valentines day card, and although I don't think he really cares (we had made plans to go out tonight) it drives me crazy because before I would have found time to do that , I am always trying to keep track of which child needs picked up where, who needs what for school, the house gets messy ( and yes I know we should have everyone pitch in, but keeping up on them pitching in just seems like more work for me!) I go to work and basically do all that I use to, just maybe not as well .

Well, I thought venting some might help, but instead I'm sitting here bawling. And so it goes... hope you're feeling happier than me today

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Grandma and sleepover

Hi- All is going pretty well, I have an itchy miserable throat and feel a bit yucky, but nothing too horrible.

My Grandma Cosgrove passed away this week. Although I wouldn't say we were exactly close her death has made me think of memories of her : we have a wonderful, huge afaghan that she crocheted for us when we got married, I think when I was young she tried teaching me the art, but I've never been the crafty one so much; I remember going to her house on Sunday's after church, I don't think she ever had much food there, so we usually got chipped chop ham and chips from one of the two corner stores, Rayles or Scafidies (?sp). I still like to eat ham sandwiches with chips on them. I remember her old house on 4th street, and of course the favorite part being the great porch swing. I loved that swing. I remember the week I stayed with her one summer, I remember walking to a store to get something and watching old shows on TV, I just remember it being nice having some one on one time without anyone else being there. I remember too her love for Pap. Memories of Grandma, naturally bring about memories of Pap ( I don't remember calling him that, but I understand that we did), I remember him being tall, Mexican jumping beans and the bank that we put pennies in and hit the lever for the dog to go through the hoop to put the pennies in the barrel ( I'm not even sure if I have that memory exactly right, because I know Mom now has a bank like that, I'm not sure if they were the same or different, I think different with theirs being a black dog?) I remember coloring in an Archie Bunker coloring book at their house and that when I was in the hospital in 3rd grade she (grandma) came to visit and brought a gift. I also remember that from the bathroom, there were steps that led to a creepy basement. It's funny the things you remember, and as I've thought about this, it makes me realize how little things impact a persons life, as I said at the beginning, I wouldn't say Grandma and I were exactly close, yet as I think of these memories I believe they (Grandma and Pap) probably helped shape me, and I am thankful for their kindess.

Made it through Whitney's birthday sleepover this weekend. She had a great time, but I must admit, I am not a huge fan of sleepovers, especially when it is more than just one other person. She invited 5 girls over, they all came, however 2 left around 10 at night instead of staying over. (Shh...., I was thankful for that) They played games, ate, watched tv and chatted, it seemed to go pretty well. I have memories of bad things happening at sleepovers so I tend to worry about them. Whitney got some webkinz and jammies. Her birthday isn't until the 24th, but our weekends are so busy, this is what we had to go for.

Hope all is well for everyone, and so it goes...

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Feb. 2nd

Well, after my niece Lex and friend Claudia started blogging I thought I'd give it a try, thanks for the inspirtation guys! I've named the blog "and so it goes", although my daughter, Whitney of course, was sure it should be named "motherfreak".



Today we went to a "PIP" performance of Jayna's (6 )at Buffalo State College during the girls basketball game. They have a routine of basketball tricks and skills that they do. It is really amazing to see my kindergartener get out there and perform during a college game. They have also performed at local high school games. She enjoys it alright, but I do think it can be a bit draining too. It is a group of boys and her girls from her elementary from kindergarten -5th grade. She has one more performance left this season. Below is a link to a performance at Canisius College.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdbJRZn9UUw

Andrew (13) is having a friend over to watch the Super Bowl tomorrow and Whitney has a birthday sleepover planned for Friday/Sat. I can't believe how busy it can be having 3 kids school aged and involved with so many things ( bass guitar lessons, gymnastics, musical theater, PIP, ...), although it seems like no one of them is doing too many things, it just adds up.



Jayna worked on her kindergarten project today creating a poster for the 100th day of school, using marshmallows. Sadly, it didn't surprise me too much when the dog ate some of the marshmallows off (Stupid Dog!!!Stupid Me for putting it where she could get it!!!!)

And so it goes.... I hope everyone reading this is well and enjoying the journey.

Sue