Teamwork

Perspective. It changes things. It changes the way we see situations, and the way we see situations then changes the way we act or feel in a situation.  And sometimes a small change in perspective can make a big difference.

Teamwork, yeah, yeah, we've all heard it before. We are all working for  the same thing and if everyone does their part then the team is successful. Although I've been married for 20+ years, I feel like I've recently learned an important team work lesson.

So Richard and I are a team. We use to tell the kids that when they were little ( Don't ask Dad if Mom has already said no!), and it's still true, we just don't say it as much anymore.  Our team's goal is to have a functioning family life.( ideally a happy, fun, supportive one, but sometimes functioning is enough right!?) To accomplish this we both have some primary tasks,some joint tasks, and some tasks that no one is ready to take on right now! ( those we just talk about !)
Anyhow right now Richard's primary task is to earn those $'s, that allow our family to meet the demands of groceries, medical bills, netflix, clothes, pet food and more.  My job is to spend that $! No really it is!  I buy the groceries and then have to come up with something to do with the said groceries ( yuck, I know.), and then clean up after.  ( another yuck) I manage doctor appts, and pay the bills. I usually tell the kids what $ they have for clothes or take them shopping, so you see, I really do spend the $.

Anyhow what I've realized is that teamwork involves everyone having their turn at crap jobs and then their turn at just enjoying their job.  I was sitting on the porch on a lovely warm day recently, a nice breeze blowing occasionally and reading a book,  Although it should have felt perfect, what I kept feeling was guilt. Guilt because I was doing something I enjoy, when at the same time I knew Richard had been having a week of just getting beat up at work. I felt like I shouldn't be enjoying the day when he wasn't. But in my mind I kept on thinking, Sue, you really need to savor this moment. You need to rejuvenate yourself. Doesn't it seem silly that perhaps I would have felt better if we were both having bad days? I talked with my teammate about this and he said that he has done the same thing- feel guilty if things have been easier for him, but harder for me. So some things I've come to realize about teamwork and having a HAPPY family life.

• We each have things that we like or dislike about our roles right now.  Neither of us have a "job" that is always full of happy moments, but we both have things that we find relaxing or inspiring within these jobs.
• We don't have to feel guilty for enjoying those times when we'd give our job an A+ rating. It's okay and positive and right to bask in the positive moments. It gives us serenity that will help us help our teammate through those days when their job feels like a full fledged F!
• Just because we have miserable days or moments,we don't want our spouse to feel that same way.  Yes, I want my husband to listen to me vent about whatever was hard that day, but he doesn't need to feel guilty about the fact that I had a hard day. He has hard days too.
• It really is about teamwork.  We both have things to do that we don't like to do,( we are waiting to get a new dishwasher so hand washing the dishes is right up there for me!) but we do them because as a team we are working to have a functioning, positive and happy family life.
• Sometimes it's your turn to have a good day, sometimes it my turn.  And hip hip hooray for the days when we are both having a good day!

And so it goes...

Just Read- "Sister" by Rosamond Lupton. It surprised me how much I liked this book. A good crime fiction book that kept you wondering, but more than that she is a good writer. Several times I would read a sentence and then say that was a good sentence. She uses words well.

Family Update!

It's been awhile since I've written just a general blog about what our family is up to , so I'm going to try to do that now, although I'm sure I want be able to do justice to everything that's been going on- I wish I was better at blogging and including photographs and keeping it up to date.

We've lived in rural central Pennsylvania for about 4 years now. We find it different than anywhere we've lived in our adult life, and the kids have definitely found it different than anywhere they had experienced previously. There are negatives and positives, but what Richard and I and the kids have all felt is that even now this still doesn't feel like "home". We've all tried to "Bloom where you're planted" and I am especially so grateful that we have each other as we make a home and life where we really don't feel at "home." We did list our home for sale for awhile, but we have the unfortunate reality that since we moved here our home has been mapped into a flood zone, now requiring really expensive flood insurance if someone were to buy it. So between that and the fact that we don't have a lot of equity in the home (which would allow us to sell for less to offset the insurance), we recognize that we may be here for some time. However, at the same point we recognize that we may not. And life up in the air, is not one of my favorite feelings.

Richard continues to work as an IT specialist for Penn State Hershey Medical centers in State College area. For the most part he likes it, but does get tired of the politics between the State College branch and Hershey. It's hard having 2 bosses in 2  different places telling you 2 different things that don't always agree with each other.  On the other hand he is really enjoying teaching the PA state motorcycle safety courses.  It's like a hobby for him, but also helps with extra income since I'm not working outside of the home right now. I see the teacher in him as he really likes to see how the students progress from the beginning to the end of the course.  I've considered taking the course from him as well, but not sure if that would be a good or bad thing for our marriage!  He likes to stay busy and in his spare time has been busy wood working.  The other day I was considering everything he has made: coffee table, picnic table, bookshelf, corn hole, side table or seat.  He is handy to have around! 

Andrew has finished his 2nd year of college and has one more year to get his associates degree.  He started out in a 4 year major, then changed to a 2 year major, thus the 3 years. It will be in computer tech ( or something similar, I can't remember the exact name.) He especially enjoys the networking side of it. His girlfriend Nina still lives in Buffalo and spent some of last week with us. They seem to have done really well with this long distance relationship thing- and I know he didn't get that from me! Although, perhaps I've matured some in my years, I use to get a "If you're not here when I need you, then I Don't need you" attitude when Richard would be away.  They are tired of the distance though and  Andrew hopes to return to Buffalo to work and live after graduating. He is working his second summer at the local amusement park, Del Grossos. He works in the games department and comes home with interesting stories about co-workers and parents and kids.

Whitney just graduated from high school as Salutatorian. I'm really proud of her of course and I absolutely loved the speech she gave. She wrote it herself, but really said things I am pleased and proud of her for. As I said previously, this doesn't feel like home, but in her speech she said the things that she has learned here. If you want to see her give her speech here is the link. Whitney's speech.She starts at about the 39:39 mark. She struggled with deciding what to do next and decided she wanted more time before heading to college and having to decide a major. She has decided to do 10 months in FEMA Corps. This is a branch of Americorps that focuses on disaster preparedness and relief. She will start in Iowa and will then travel throughout the US working on projects.

Jayna just completed her 7th grade school year.  She is clever and has a good sense of humor. She has pretty severe scoliosis and we will be seeing a pediatric orthopedic specialist this week to see if she will be having surgery for it. From the research I've done on it, it seems like given the fact that she has two places where her spine curves greater than 50 degrees, it is likely.  I want to make June a fun month in the event that surgery will happen this summer. She is going to miss her sister when she leaves in August, and will kind of become an only child! We may be off to volunteer at the animal shelter tomorrow. ( This makes me a good mom, for those who know how much I like animals!)

I'm not working outside of the home now. With Andrew and Whitney getting more involved in their own lives, I really needed to be available to get Jayna wherever she needed to be. Living in  the country we are often driving about 40 minutes to go to a class or activity. So I keep busy "MOMing", and with the house and reading and such. I have started doing some mystery shopping where I act as a regular customer then write an evaluation on specific criteria. It gives us a few extra dollars here and there. I much prefer it when I can give a positive review! I've been looking into the possibility of returning to school part time to get my bachelors degree as well. I have been looking at a few different major possibilities, however need to wait and see what happens with Jayna and surgery this summer and where she will be attending school in the fall.

So, there you go, a brief little update and now some pictures!

 Whitney with her boyfriend Luke. I have to say she seems so much more relaxed and comfortable and herself when she is with him. I have to say I appreciate that he brings that out in her.

 Jayna overlooking Raystown Lake. We love the beauty of Pennsylvania.

 Jayna and I went to Living Treasures Animal Park and it was cool to see a baby joey peeking out of it's mama's pouch.

 We get a family picture together like never! Graduation was a good excuse for one!

 Sisters! I guess sometimes there is a question as to who is oldest by looks. And recently I took Jayna out to lunch and the waitress asked if it would be one check or separate and Jayna looked at me and said "I'm only 13!"

 We don't get to see the grandmas much and especially not together! It was nice having them around for Whitney's graduation.

 Jayna wasn't so sure about the cow that put her whole hand in it's mouth!

 A girl and her dog! Whitney and Muffy just love each other!

 Family fun playing corn hole that Richard made for my birthday!

 Andrew and Nina making lots of Easter treats! Yum!

 Jayna bottle feeding a baby camel.

 Non-crafty Sue said let's try this Pinterest idea!

 I love our peony bed, wish they bloomed longer!

And so it goes...

Reading now- "Sister" by Rosamund Lupton. A little different than my normal read, but I do like her writing style.  Crime fiction, pretty good so far.

Just Read- "All the Light We Cannot See"- by Anthony Doerr, I liked the story, but not how he went back and forth between times.  It gave me insight into WWII and how things just happened.