June 24, 2009 reflections and updates

This is a picture of the kids at Darien Lake- we have season passes and actually plan on going later today. It's not far, so I don't feel like we have to spend the whole day to get our $'s worth. We have a mix of riders- Jayna and Whitney both like the rides like sleigh ride, the swings, scrambler- things like that, but they both also enjoy the rollercoasters - although Jayna hasn't tried them all yet. However, with the age difference, Whitney doesn't always want to ride with Jayna. Andrew is a straight roller coaster rider, so sometimes Whitney gets annoyed because he won't ride the what I'll call the medium rides with her. And their mom is hardly a rider at all- I'll do the log ride and the boat ride, the carousel- but I don't enjoy rollercoasters,and the many rides that are bound to make me sick. When their Dad comes- he can do about all of the rides- just doesn't enjoy the water area. (maybe if it was HOT) Jayna is a trooper riding rides by herself as I wait for her, but sometimes I feel bad- I mean I know it's more fun to ride With someone- but they have a lame mom- sorry!

Jayna at her year end gymnastic show. She did a great job. I'm proud of her. She was funny though- She would wave and smile at her Dad, then make faces or turn away from me. ( I think I did get a few waves) She can be a character. This year when she would get on the bus you seldom got a wave back- sometimes she would turn away from us, sometimes make a face and once in awhile a smile and a wave. One of her best friends from school is moving- it's a bummer. Buffalo wouldn't be so bad if people stayed here, but it seems like people are always moving out.

Andrew "graduated" from middle school yesterday. He kind of had a "whatever" attitude about the whole thing. He's a good kid, but I worry about him some. I was miserable at that age- and worry that he tends be somewhat the same- just not very happy, not making close friends, not getting involved in extra activities - he's been taking guitar lessons, but seems like he isn't enjoying it like he use to. I don't know how much is just normal teenagerishness, and at what point to be more concerned. Like I said I was miserable these years, on the other hand, Richard was loving life. Why isn't it possible for my kids to take any of my positive qualities (whatever that would be?) but they get the negative ones. Ugh!!

Unfortunately I have gained back a lot of the weight I lost. It's so frustrating. I try to not beat myself up over it- I realize it is very normal to do so and there are worse things than being fat, but it's not where I want to be. I try hard to not let my weight determine what I do- I remember being little and my Mom not wanting to swim with us because she didn't want to be in a swim suit. (that's my memory, who knows, in reality it could be different) So in cases like that I just try to suck it up (and suck it in), because I don't want my kids to miss out and I don't want my weight to determine what I do. I did sign up to take tennis lessons this summer. Although I'm heavier than I was as a teen, I think I feel more comfortable with my body and self than I did then (well, most days)

Thrilled to add back my reading section- yay for no college classes!!!

Just read- Still Alice- a great book, highly recommend it, about a women diagnosed with early onset alzheimers (fiction), Snow Flower and the Secret Fan- an okay read, interesting learning about the culture, but a bit too much guilt for me.

Reading Now- I capture the Castle by Dodie Smith- Maybe a third way done with this book and I would consider it a very delightful read- not thought provoking or deep so much, but just totally enjoyable.

and so it goes...

And so it goes... Still - May 31, 2009

It seems like so much has gone on in the past month or so. I've finished my first year of classes working towards becoming a certified occupational therapy assistant. I'm about halfway done- and am currently doing required field work. I am at Saint Francis of Buffalo, which is a subacute setting. It hasn't been bad, a good learning experience, but not sure that subacute is the right setting for me. It could be, we'll see. I hope to do either an early childhood or school based setting next year.

Mixed feelings about the whole school experience. I'm thankful for the opportunity to go back to school. I'm glad that when it's done I'll at least have an associates degree and the ability to help provide for my family as needed. I think the field of occupational therapy is a good one. However, this last semester was really stressful, and it saddens me to think that being in school has at least temporarily made me not the kind of parent I want to be. I just feel like everyone didn't get the attention they should have, and the stress made me more edgy with people than I like. I need to learn how to balance better! Hopefully next semester the class schedule should help- I'll get done earlier most days, although I'll still have 7 classes.

This is a picture of Jayna and other friends from her Brownies/Girl Scout troop. They were getting ready to go to a day of Girl Scout Encampment. She had a great time. I've been so thankful for the great troop leaders that she has had. She has had an opportunity to do some really nice things this year.

She is scheduled to have her tonsils removed in July. I'm not thrilled about it, hopefully though it'll decrease or eliminate some of the problems she had this year- strep throats, sore throats, stomach aches...

She is still enjoying gymnastics and is a funny girl!

I have a great husband who made me this cake for my birthday! It had been years since I had a german chocolate cake- one of my favorites. He even made the cake from scratch! What a sweet gesture from him. It was delicious!

Little things make me so happy! We mulched our front area on my birthday. I was thrilled to get the mulch from our town- it was so much less expensive than what I normally pay. And looks great too! The lilac bush/tree was blooming and fragrant, and we bought a hanging basket. My gardening skills are very limited (sorry mom and dad, but it's true!), but I have learned to find the basket that looks good throughout the summer, without much help from me.

Everyone else is doing well- growing up fast. Andrew still does his paper route on Saturdays and Whitney plans on mowing the neighbors lawn for the summer. They both recently were in the school concert and Whitney even had a solo part. They're both great singers.

We have season passes to Darien Lake and have already enjoyed going twice. Hopefully it will be some good summer fun.

Whitney helping at Grandma and Grandpa Spriggs

During the annual Easter egg hunt with the cousins- this year at Aunt Cheryl's.

After the egg hunt! We may be doing this for years and years to come- although they're getting older, they have a fun time.

And so it goes...

April 12

This is a picture of my Dad playing with a game of Connect Four with Jayna. It was nice. My Dad has dementia ( as far as I know it hasn't been diagnosed as Alzheimers, but sometimes I am out of the loop with my parents) anyhow his short term memory is very poor- he will often repeat himself and will need told things over and over within minutes. It is sad to see, especially at this stage where he is very aware of it and it makes him very sad. His mom and Dad both had mental problems as they aged. I have tried to get my mom to check out a day program- I think it would be helpful to both him and her- he would have some socialization and something to do, and she would have a break. However, no luck there. It's hard raising parents! Anyhow connect four was a good choice- it takes some cognitive skill- the need to stay focused somewhat, but not too difficult. Jayna and Dad had a nice time playing and played several games. I must say with the family history it makes me worried about my mental state as I age.

Whitney got a trampoline for her birthday and her and Jayna have loved it! Even when it is cold they'll go out and get in some good play time. We had one years ago, but threw it out, it didn't have the foam padding around the edge or the net. This one makes me feel much better.

This is Jayna's Easter decoration for us!

The kids and I are both on spring break- Yay! School has been really stressful for me, but the first year is almost done! I think May 18th is the last day of classes, then later that month I have a clinical- it's only about 1 1/2 or 2 weeks though. I should be done before the kids are out for the summer. I've thought about working summer, but really think a break would be nice. We have planned a few fun things for spring break- Out to eat (Quaker Steak and Lube- all you can eat wings - Andrew), Bison's game ( I really love Baseball games!) and then we are going to Ohio to visit family and have an Easter egg hunt with the cousins. I've been trying to see my parents every other month since I feel like things are getting worse there, and Richard's Dad has just gotten out of the hospital after about 2 months. His parents have moved to Columbus , OH. So some fun and some crazy, but definitely a change of pace.

Reading? Well I've started a few things, but haven't really got going much on anything lately- except anatomy stuff and such!

And so it goes...

Cheat Code!

Well tonight for our family activity for family home evening we were playing "Sister may I" our version of "Mother May I", but Whitney has bronchitis and was laying on the couch and was the sister. We start at the top of the stairs, have to go through the kitchen and hallway and to the couch- whoever gets there first wins. After 1 0r 2 of us had taken a turn, Andrew asked "sister may I give you a dollar?" Naturally she said yes - Andrew was down the steps yelling "cheat code, cheat code" went through the kitchen, stopped off in his bedroom for a dollar, through the hall and gave Whitney a dollar. He was mighty pleased with his "cheat code". We didn't let Whitney keep the dollar, but did let Andrew use the cheat code to get out of playing the rest of the game- which included Dad doing ballerina twirls, and Mom crawling like a turtle. My kids are funny.

And so it goes...

No Baptist Church Here! ( No offense!)

When I was growing up I remember often pulling into the driveway and my Dad saying it looked like our house was a Baptist church- now I don't know why ( I don't think I've ever attended a Baptist church), but that meant that we had lots of lights on. (Do they have lots of lights??) The saying has stuck and I've thought it myself a few times- but no more at the Ashead house!! A month or so ago I was talking to my sister and was amazed when she mentioned how little her electric bill was- about $100 less than ours! How could that be??? Yes her house is a little smaller, and there is 3 people there instead of our 5, but that seemed to be such a huge difference that it was time to see what we could do about our electric bill. So Richard and I did some research and then talked to the kids. It seemed like a big $ waster was leaving our computers on when they weren't being used, knowing that someone would want to use them sometime- so that has definitley decreased, also sometimes the kids would leave their lights on when they left for school but I wouldn't know it because their doors were shut. Anyhow- we tried to get everyone on board to TURN OFF THOSE LIGHTS! and such- and the amazing happy result- we just got our bill and it is over $50 less than the previous month. Next bill we're waiting for- water. We put in a low flow shower head- what will the savings be???

And so it goes...

Feb.8, 2009

Things going on:

1. Started back to college- stress! It's a busy, intense semester. One foot in front of the other right?

2. Jayna has started piano lessons. She's taking them from a friend from church who is also the primary president. She seems way interested in them and has been diligent about practicing. We told her she could take them for a month, but would then have to decide whether to keep taking them or keep taking gymnastics, but we can only pay for one right now.

3. Andrew and Whitney are both preparing to be in the school musical this year. I'm looking forward to seeing it.

4. Enjoyed taking Whitney shopping at Old Navy the other day, then she went to the grocery store with me for a bit. I don't always get so much one on one time with the kids, and this was nice. She had earned $20 from a good report card and did some thrifty shopping- got 2 shirts that were marked down for $4.99 each and jeans on sale too. She likes certain things, but has also learned to look for the good deals too. It was just a nice time together. The kids are growing up so fast.

5. Had some nice family time yesterday and played a game after dinner with everyone- Family Fun Cranium. It's so nice when we can all enjoy some time together. I've been a bit of a bear lately because of a lot of stress- always nice to relax!

6. Alright, sounds a bit dry , but that's all for today. And so it goes...

Relaxing day and preparing for the next semester

I start classes again next Tuesday, Monday we are all off for Martin Luther King day. Richard had the day off today, so it was kind of a nice relaxing day before the rush of classes, homework and tight schedules start again. We went out to lunch at Olive Garden. It was so delicious- we did the soup, salad, breadsticks deal and shared a dessert. The chicken gnocci soup was great.

I'm a little nervous about how next semester will work out. Fall semester I had some days when I'd be home by noon and could get some stuff done before the kids got home. This time the earliest my classes are done is 2:10, letting me get home just about when Jayna will be getting home. I'm going to have to be a lot more prepared and take advantage of the time I have between classes at school. For a class over winter break I had to spend 30 hours onsite somewhere that is not a traditional OT setting. I went to Amherst Adult Day Services which provides supervision and activities to mentally or physically impaired adults or those who may need socialization. It was a good experience and got me even more excited for the field I'm entering.

Reading now: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
To love what is: a marriage transformed by Alix Kates Shulman- this is a great ture book, it is about how a very independent woman becomes caregiver to her husband who has an accident and suffers brain injury. It's interesting because it relates a bit to me as I observe my own dad with dementia and my mom caring for him, but also as someone interested in Occupational Therapy. Also, to me the title of the book can be key to so much more, - to accept and love what is- even if it's not what you had planned. Another thing I appreciate is the fact that the author is so much different than me- atheist, strong feminist, adventurer, but I can really appreciate her in this book and I think that is something always to remember- we don't have to agree with or be like someone to learn from them.
The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

And so it goes...