This past year has been full of changes for me. Generally, they have been good, but sometimes I wish everything would slow down a bit- I wonder how much intensity/change I can take in a period- good or not. In the past year I have sent the last of my children to start kindergarten, which has thus somewhat shut me out of the playgroup group (call it a clique if you wish), still friends with many , but have really lost some of that, even though I wasn't a diehard fan of playgroup before. It just puts me in a different life phase. I've started working again, I've started weight watchers and have so far lost 30 pounds, I've spent lots of time thinking ,figuring out what is next in my life, what I'm most interested in, decided to apply for college, and have gone through that intense period of getting everything done to register for classes, with plans to become a C.O.T.A. (certified occupational therapy assistant), although I still wonder if that's enough for me, or what I really want to do (Which after the craziness about killed my husband when I said that) I'd really like to earn a degree in "changing the world" All the while, being a mom to three kids (13,11 and 6) who lets face it can be very needy and demanding. And just dealing with the day to day of life and marriage and all that goes with that. So all though these changes have generally been good, it can leave me feeling a bit depleted. It takes energy to do all this to have that focus to lose weight, get a college plan....
Just finished- "The Dive from Clausen's Pier"- I really liked this book, probably because it has to do with someone figuring out their own life, which we never really do. The middle of it had more sex than I need to read about, so did some skimming, but I really did like this book. It's about a woman who had been in a relationship with her high school sweetheart, but feeling like it wasn't what she still wanted, then her boyfriend became parapelegic, and it follows her decision to stay or go and what happens.
Reading now- "Eat, Pray, Love"- also enjoying this probably for the same reason, someone searching- (my own personal theme I guess for awhile) it has made me wish I was born Italian, to be able to enjoy life in the moment and get great pleasure. I am so dang structured and responsible- I know I appreciate responsible people, but unfortunately for me I feel it to be a quality that I don't like in myself because I can never just relax, have to be prepared to cover for someone, do the right thing- heck if I even lived in the southern states maybe that would be a start, but that's the whole point for me I guess, I haven't enjoyed being south, because it is too laidback or friendly or something- yep I'm a northern responsible girl ("We raise our children so when they are 18 they are ready to leave the house and make it", that's a take on something my Dad has said) I also could totally relate with her crying in bathrooms, I have done my share of that too! Probably about 1/2 through the book.
And so it goes...
2 comments:
Best of luck on your plans to become a C.O.T.A! Make sure to check out www.aota.org for all your Occupational therapy needs.
I could relate to your feelings of being structured and responsible. I sometimes feel like I am not good at just letting go and being fun....making a fool out of myself....being comfortable in my own skin. Well with family sometimes, but not really beyond that. That is why I wanted to take belly dancing. Trying to get comfortable in my own skin."
Cheryl
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