Sunday, January 31, 2016

The Power of Confidence

Confidence- I've known for awhile that the more I try to project confidence the more I feel it and others may feel it from me as well.  However what I'm thinking about today is how powerful and empowering it is to have others show confidence in you.

Recent jobs have made me reflect on this- 2 of them making me feel empowered and 1 of them making me feel the exact opposite. In my job as an activity director  at Ohesson Manor, I was all of a sudden asked to do all kinds of things that I had never done before- big things, scary things, cool things, amazing things.  Of course I didn't let on how overwhelming some of those felt.  I just said ok and went to work.  However, the kind words, help, support and overwhelming expectations that I could and would do just fine made such a difference.  They thought I could do something so I jumped right in and did so. They recognized my strengths and understood that since someone hired me to do this job, I could and would do what was needed. I felt empowered.  I feel like that job gave me a lot of personal growth- I moved outside of my comfort zone and did cool things- things I didn't know I had the ability to do until someone showed confidence in me.

As a recent classroom aide, I was basically told you are on the lowest rung of the ladder.  I felt like although I had a background that may have been useful in this setting, it didn't really matter. It just felt uncomfortable and depressing to be there. Not empowering.

I recently started a new job.  My first vote of confidence came from a former co-worker who said really nice things about me to her current boss, recommending me for the job. Another confidence boost came from a former employer who said the new place would love me.  So once I started working I was thrown into a tricky situation, but my boss just said ok this is what we are going to do and we did it. AND IT WENT FINE. I don't know that I would have trusted myself to just jump right in, but she did.  Afterwards she mentioned how impressed she was with how I handled it. Which just builds more confidence.

I'm grateful for those who have shown confidence in me. It has changed me.  It really makes me want to show confidence in others- to build others up, not put them down. I want my kids to feel confidence, that even when they don't feel up to something, that I'm going to be behind them knowing they can.  I want to help others in whatever situations to have the confidence to just move forward and try. I'm on your team.

And so it goes...

The Journey Continues

Here, Wanted- Cheerleaders,not Coaches and here healthy changes- follow up ( click on to read previous posts) I wrote about being overweight including  my reflections of why and also my plan to get healthier and why it was so important to me. I'm still reflecting on this and working on this and learning.  I want to show a great before and after picture, however there is none. In reality in this past year I have gained a few pounds instead of lost any.  But, I'm still trying and learning, so I won't say I failed.  I am trying to figure out what to do with what I've learned about myself and my struggles with food.  So I'm just going to write a little about what I've learned- I need to do this for myself as a way to document and reflect.

One change I made, did make a difference, not in weight, but I think in health. Some results I could see externally, I hope there were/ also some results internally that made my body healthy as well. There are lots of articles out there that make me think it must have.  DRINKING WATER- I upped my daily water intake to about 9 cups a day. ( I also almost stopped drinking anything else except juices/cider) This is what I noticed. My pms acne went away, flaky skin on face went away, my nails looked lovely- shiny and no longer breaking/cracking. So I started that in April and continued until about September- and I didn't mean to stop but in September I started a job that just seemed to make it hard to get 9 cups of water in each day. It wasn't convenient to have a water bottle with me and I didn't feel like I could always run to the bathroom if needed. Coming home and drinking lots of water at the end of the day didn't work so well as it meant I was up too much during the night!  However, what I learned- that just may help me as I think about other ideas or strategies, is that it took about 3 months until I started to see the reverse effects.  Around December, all of a sudden I noticed a little bit of  flaky skin by my eyebrows, acne started to show up again and right now my nails are awful! Thankfully, I have changed jobs ( not because of the water) and am now back to drinking more water, but the change isn't immediate and I am hoping that in 3 months my skin and nails will be back to awesomeness!

What I really took from this is the time it takes my body to respond to a change. 3 months. So in my earlier trial I went a month without eating sweets and was disappointed that I didn't lose weight or feel any better or notice much of any difference. So I didn't continue with that goal. I'm wondering now what would happen if I did 3 months and on of doing that.

Food issues- I tried different ideas- such as only having one helping, but I found I then gave myself an extra big helping. I've never not had food available to me, so I don't know why I have this fear or whatever of not getting enough. I continue to be a stress eater and need to become more aware of this. I do like fruit and veggies and feel like I  do a fair job incorporating them into meals, but know I could do better. One thing I have really started doing, especially with pasta, but other things too, is making less.  If there is only enough pasta for everyone to have one serving there is no temptation to have more.

Exercise- as I mentioned in one of the previous posts I always end up injured. That has held true, as I've gone through having a torn meniscus! I have recently made a "Move It" playlist that will hopefully encourage me to walk more.

When I made my New Year's goals this year - my goal was to lose 10 pounds this year. Sometimes looking at losing 100 pounds seems so impossible.  But surely I should be able to lose 10, and by documenting what I weighed then I can work towards it. I still want to lose 100 pounds, but losing 10 is better than gaining five.

Please don't think I don't understand the basic concept of eating less and moving more- I get it. However, what I am still trying to do is figure out HOW to do that and HOW to make it work for me.
I'm still learning and trying...
And so it goes...

Just read- "The Rithmatist" by Brandon Sanderson- a decent enough teen read